“You’ve been a very, very bad boy.”

Face it – you’re a mess, a slob, a catastrophe.

Everything is falling apart and when you look around at your house, it’s even a bigger mess than you are.

But now you’re here with Madame Chi because you know what you want. That’s right, you want some. So, how’re you gonna get it? you gonna say some big words and spend some money on her and then bring her back to your place, this place? When she walks in through that door, is she gonna slap you across the face You think I’m going to enjoy being here in this place? Cause when she leaves you there alone, she ain’t coming back.

Oh, honey. You are so lucky you found me.

Madame Chi, The Feng Shui Dominatrix, will take you on a tour of your own home, room by room, pointing out changes and giving you tips and ideas that will keep the ladies coming back for more.

Trust me,

M. Chi