Female Viagra

Did you hear that they finally invented the female Viagra?
It’s called ConVer-Sation.

It’s a little problematic though, in that only men can administer it. Men have immediate access to an unlimited supply, and although timing and dosage is critical, misdiagnosis is acceptable and, in early test cases, even expected. Most attempts yield satisfactory results.

When to use:
Ideally administered while a woman is experiencing a verbal and emotional gushing. Other applications include while being verbally attacked or nagged, and/or any passive-aggressive activities. Still to be approved for wide-spread use is a randomly generated dose during waking hours.

How to use:
Men must use their ears for their intended purpose and during moments of silence (clue: she inserts a breath) repeat variations of the following phrases with genuine tenderness and/or interest:
“Honey, you’re so right.” “Uh-huh.” “That was a great/smart/brilliant choice.” “And how’d you feel about that?” “Tell me more.” “Oh wow!” “What happened next?” “You know so much.” “Yes.” “That’s crazy.” “You are amazing.” Etc.

Side effects vary from woman to woman and may include: unnecessary smiling, twinkle in the eye, loud laughter, bedroom eyes, weight loss, weight gain, feelings of safety, allergic reaction to the remote control, memory loss of grudges and honey-do lists, general loss of frustration, anger and agitation, aversion to asking men unnecessary questions, peaceful afternoons, adventurous bedroom behavior, adventurous not-in-the-bedroom behavior, increased libido, strengthening of the hand muscles, sudden ability to relax throat muscles, swelling of the vulva, increased moisture of the vulva, willingness to leave the house during 8 hours of Sunday sports, bragging to other women, unnecessary daydreaming, peace of mind, and a general decrease in nagging, bitching and controlling behaviors.

©2010 www.FengShuiDominatrix.com

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