Dining Room pt. 1

before DR

Dining room in Feng Shui disaster mode. WTF?!

Let’s count all the shit that sucks about this Dining Room (To play, you may need to translate your own “Dining Room” into “Dedicated Eating Space,” such as a counter top, tray, etc.):
1.    It’s used for more than dining.
2.    The food remnants are nauseating.
3.    Watching TV while you eat – every meal – is rude and selfish.
4.    The bugs have been named.
5.    Put the garage stuff in the garage, the office stuff in the office, trash in the trash.
6.    Hang up the coat.
7.    Put the porno in the… well, don’t put it anywhere else if the articles are great.
8.    If you really have TUMS within reach of where you eat, you’re not eating right. See a nutritionist. Go on a diet. Take care of yourself for chrissake.

Here’s the thing about dining rooms, you totally have my blessing that this dining room is used for more than just dining. Honestly, my kitchen is used for more than just cooking. However, that’s its primary function. Dining rooms are an archeological relic in this culture. Grab your pilth and trash bag and go to work.
You see, setting the table and savoring a dedicated meal is some of the best foreplay women have: Eye contact, conversation, good food, good wine and time. She feels that you’re dedicated to her happiness, and she wants to reciprocate time dedicated to your happiness. Or whatever you call sex.


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